32 Pets. 6 Weeks. One Winner: Orion’s Pet Madness Bracket Results

Dog lovers rejoice!
PET MADNESS WINNER: SNOOPY

And… we have a winner. Snoopy takes the roses.

When we started this wild ride, I honestly had no inkling who might win. But when Snoopy handily defeated the lazy, carb-loving Garfield and then narrowly nudged out broomstick-balancing Jiji, I began to suspect he could go the distance. Still, I find it interesting that this daydreaming backyard beagle beat out three verified heroes – Miyazaki’s red elk Yakul, Tolkien’s giant wolfhound Huan, and Harry’s beloved owl Hedwig – two of whom, incidentally, died defending their human friend. And yet voters went with the root beer sipping anthropomorphic dog. As a literary crowd, did we appreciate his commitment to reading the entirety of War and Peace? Did we relate to his struggle to write the great American novel? The dance moves? Or perhaps it is the multigenerational bonding we value. Who else can reliably leave you, your parents, your grandparents, and maybe even your own kids crying into their bittersweet hot cocoa every holiday season when A Charlie Brown Christmas rolls around on television?

Of Snoopy, Charles M. Schulz once reflected, “He can win or lose, be a disaster, a hero, or anything, and yet it all works out.” Perhaps we see ourselves in Snoopy. We’re not out there wrestling werewolves or fighting death eaters. We’re just trying to do our best, eat some good meals, show up for friends, and hope it all works out.

Or maybe we all just really love dogs.

 


 

Brush Up on Past Rounds

The Finals

SNOOPY
HEDWIG
Will it be Snoopy, the multi-generational canine king of comic strips? He of the bulbous nose and knowing gaze. Snoopy is an imaginative beagle, a frustrated writer, expert napper, and a bittersweet philosopher. Generous with the smooches, this guy’s gratitude for dinner and ubiquitous happy dance swells the human heart. 

Or will it be Hedwig, the magical snowy owl, resplendent in white feathers? She of the piercing yellow eyes and unfathomable ability to find anyone, anywhere. Intelligent and proud, always ready to bestow a reproachful look or affectionate nip on the boy she died defending. Neither snow, nor rain, nor heat, nor gloom could keep her from her purpose.

 

tHE sEMI-fINALS

CATS & DOGS VS HOOVED ANIMALS

 

SNOOPY
YAKUL
Representing the original eight dogs and cats, smooch-happy Snoopy is the last pet standing, fresh off his victory over Middle-Earth’s favorite pony-sized good boy, Huan. He’s up against the singular and loyal Yakul, our finalist from the hooved animal category who beat out Wilbur, Artax, and Babe to reach the finals.

VILLIANS VS UNSUALS

 

MAX
HEDWIG
What does it say about the Orion community that the least villainous of villains is still with us? Max, the Grinch’s reluctant sidekick survived a sarcastic parrot, a conniving feline, and a literal monster, only to face one of the most iconic birds in literature – the Hedwig of Harry Potter fame. Direwolf Ghost almost made it. Somewhere out there, Jon Snow is looking north, with a stoic tear in his eye.


pREVIOUS rOUNDS

Cats & Dogs

 

Jiji Lying Cat Garfield Snoopy Huan Lassie Balto Barkley

Helpful, supportive, occasionally saucy. Occasionally speaks. Can balance on a flying broomstick. Dislikes chaos.

Loving companion, though not above heckling anyone. Extremely active imagination. Never says no to a big wet smooch.

Pronounced hoo-wan. The kind of guy who will enter a fight of assured mutual destruction with the biggest (were)wolf in town to support your noble quest.

Verifiably heroic. You know you’re a very good boy when they give you a statute in Central Park.

Snoopy
VS
Huan
Winner of this race: SNOOPY

Hooved Animals

 

Wilbur Babe Shaun Flicka Yakul Babe Black Stallion Artax

A nice enough fellow, but let’s be honest, Charlotte was really the terrific, humble, and radiant one.

Clever trickster and anarchist leader looking to make barnyard life more entertaining for all. Chaotic good. Messy.

Fast, brave, and exceedingly loyal. Will help slay demons and ride into danger without hesitation. Horns to envy.

Capable of traumatizing a generation and eliciting a sad swamp’s worth of tears.

Wilbur
VS
Yakul

 

Winner of this race: YAKUL

VILLIANS

 

Azrael Max Cujo The Rancor Iago Diablo Brutus/
Nero
Flotsam/
Jetsam

Reluctant villain. Encourages his boss to do the right thing. Looks good in antler.

Jabba’s greatest entertainment. Even better at murder.

Wisecracking shoulder-percher. Sounds a lot like Gilbert Gottfried. Appreciates dramatic flair.

Flotsam & Jetsam

Sleek, sinister lackeys for a sassy sea witch. Spying? Sabotage? Sarcasm? They get the job done.

Max
VS
Iago
Winner of this race: MAX

UNUSUAL

 

Hedwig Frightful Mijbil Rascal Twig Ghost Okja Ball of Lint

Will carry your mail, and defend you in a fight. Embraces all gender identities. Generally gorgeous.

Banishes sadness through the sheer delight of just ottering around.

Loyal. Majestic. Ferocious. Will tear your ass up if you mess with his human. A survivor.

Empathetic GMO “super pig” (giving mega hippo vibes). Too cute to eat.

Hedwig
VS
Ghost
 

Winner of this race: HEDWIG

 

FIND OUT WHO WINS IT ALL NEXT WEEK!

Kathleen Yale is Orion‘s digital editor and the author of the award-winning children’s book Howl Like a Wolf! and the game Guess My Animal! which both combine ecology, animal behavior, and imagination to engage children in creative play. She’s a former scriptwriter for the educational programs SciShow and Crash Course, and prior to that worked as a wildlife field biologist. She lives outside of Glacier National Park, with her family.